Dad asked Mom and me to come upstairs. He was standing in the bathroom by the sink. When we walked into the room he said, "Dad died this morning." I remember standing there with tears streaming down my face as I watched Mom hug Dad (knowing that she understood his loss). Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that 8 months later (to the day) I'd be standing in a hospital room hugging Mike as we cried over the bed where Jim's body laid. We're too young to lose a parent!
Last Sunday, Angela called to tell us that we needed to get to Wichita. We were driving around after church (looking at houses) when she called. We rushed to Daddy Steve and Namaw's house where we dropped off Brody (he isn't old enough to visit Jim in the ICU and we didn't think that he'd enjoy a hospital waiting room for days on end). Then it was home to pack the car. We were on the road within an hour. The trip to Kansas has never gone by so fast for me. I think our minds were very busy as I don't think we've ever made that trip in so much silence. In my mind I was trying to come up with all kinds of different outcomes to the situation my father-in-law was in. I didn't want to think about what would happen if he died...even though I knew that was a strong possibility. I thought about the fun times that we had when they lived out on the farm...fishing in the pond, hunting in the shelter belt, learning how to swing a golf club, watching Mike and Jim fly their RC helicoptors together, etc. Mike and I lived with Jim & Nancy for 2 months almost 8 years ago (while waiting for our apartment to become available), so we spent a lot of time with them at their farm house. As we drove towards KS, I couldn't help but think about how much Jim loves his grandkids and (even though the relationship wasn't the best) how much we love him.
We arrived in Wichita on Sunday evening in time for the 9:00 pm visiting hour. When we got the hospital, the nurse asked for at least 1 of us to stay with him thru the night (that's how critical she thought he was). Angela and Mike stayed with Jim in his room while I watched Jayden and Barrett in the waiting room. Finally around 4 am Mike and I headed back to the hotel to get a little sleep (Barrett wasn't sleeping in the waiting room and he needed to sleep).
Monday was a fairly good day. Jim's breathing seemed a little less labored than it had on Sunday night and we were able to have a few conversations with him. He told us many times that he loved us and was able to open his eyes and look at us a few times. It was very difficult to see him in his condition, but we were so glad that we made it in time to talk with him. Monday night Nancy and Grandma K stayed at the hospital and Angela, Mike, the boys, and I went back to the hotel to sleep.
Around 5 am on Tuesday morning Jim's blood pressure decreased dramatically. It was down to 65 over 35. Mike and Angela sat with him for a while that morning and then Grandma K sat with him for a while. Just as I was about to go back to his room with Mike, the nurse bust into the door of our private waiting room and said, "Come quick. He's dying!" Angela and I asked if we could bring the babies with us (otherwise we couldn't all go) and she said that was fine...but we should hurry. Mike, Angela, Nancy, Grandma K, Barrett, Jayden, and I rushed down the halls of the ICU towards his room. We arrived just as he flat lined. In a way, it was a relief. He wasn't laboring for every breath anymore. He wasn't moaning in pain anymore. We no longer had to worry about when the moment of death would come. It was here. Along with the relief came mourning. It was so final. Never again would we hear his voice say our name or hear him say, "Love you guys!"
As tears streamed down my face, I wrapped my arms around my grieving husband and tried to comfort him. Jim was only 56 years old. Way too young to die. Not only will he miss so much of our lives...we will miss having him in ours.
Last Sunday, Angela called to tell us that we needed to get to Wichita. We were driving around after church (looking at houses) when she called. We rushed to Daddy Steve and Namaw's house where we dropped off Brody (he isn't old enough to visit Jim in the ICU and we didn't think that he'd enjoy a hospital waiting room for days on end). Then it was home to pack the car. We were on the road within an hour. The trip to Kansas has never gone by so fast for me. I think our minds were very busy as I don't think we've ever made that trip in so much silence. In my mind I was trying to come up with all kinds of different outcomes to the situation my father-in-law was in. I didn't want to think about what would happen if he died...even though I knew that was a strong possibility. I thought about the fun times that we had when they lived out on the farm...fishing in the pond, hunting in the shelter belt, learning how to swing a golf club, watching Mike and Jim fly their RC helicoptors together, etc. Mike and I lived with Jim & Nancy for 2 months almost 8 years ago (while waiting for our apartment to become available), so we spent a lot of time with them at their farm house. As we drove towards KS, I couldn't help but think about how much Jim loves his grandkids and (even though the relationship wasn't the best) how much we love him.
We arrived in Wichita on Sunday evening in time for the 9:00 pm visiting hour. When we got the hospital, the nurse asked for at least 1 of us to stay with him thru the night (that's how critical she thought he was). Angela and Mike stayed with Jim in his room while I watched Jayden and Barrett in the waiting room. Finally around 4 am Mike and I headed back to the hotel to get a little sleep (Barrett wasn't sleeping in the waiting room and he needed to sleep).
Monday was a fairly good day. Jim's breathing seemed a little less labored than it had on Sunday night and we were able to have a few conversations with him. He told us many times that he loved us and was able to open his eyes and look at us a few times. It was very difficult to see him in his condition, but we were so glad that we made it in time to talk with him. Monday night Nancy and Grandma K stayed at the hospital and Angela, Mike, the boys, and I went back to the hotel to sleep.
Around 5 am on Tuesday morning Jim's blood pressure decreased dramatically. It was down to 65 over 35. Mike and Angela sat with him for a while that morning and then Grandma K sat with him for a while. Just as I was about to go back to his room with Mike, the nurse bust into the door of our private waiting room and said, "Come quick. He's dying!" Angela and I asked if we could bring the babies with us (otherwise we couldn't all go) and she said that was fine...but we should hurry. Mike, Angela, Nancy, Grandma K, Barrett, Jayden, and I rushed down the halls of the ICU towards his room. We arrived just as he flat lined. In a way, it was a relief. He wasn't laboring for every breath anymore. He wasn't moaning in pain anymore. We no longer had to worry about when the moment of death would come. It was here. Along with the relief came mourning. It was so final. Never again would we hear his voice say our name or hear him say, "Love you guys!"
As tears streamed down my face, I wrapped my arms around my grieving husband and tried to comfort him. Jim was only 56 years old. Way too young to die. Not only will he miss so much of our lives...we will miss having him in ours.
6 comments:
thinking of y'all. i'm glad that you were all able to get there in time to be together to drawn on each other for comfort & strength.
We are continuing to pray for y'all and Mike's whole family. We know how hard this loss is and hope you know we're here for you, no matter what.
We love you!
I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful story you have written for your children to remember him. It made me cry just to read it. God bless.
Continuing to hold you in our thoughts and prayers. May quiet mercies and blessings begin to pour out on the family.
We love you guys!
JB
Hugs!!!
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