Each Sunday night at 6 pm your teen will arrive at the home of Henry and Beverly. They will go upstairs where they will find a beautiful, blond 20 month old little girl. They will start playing dolls with this sweet little girl and will be having so much fun (they might even think about how they'd like to be a parent one day). Then they'll hear a knock on the door. In walk 2 little boys (3 years old and 20 months old). Again...these boys are sweet, blond headed boys who are looking for a truck to play with (your teen discovers that the sweet little blond girl doesn't own a truck and tries to convince the 20 month old boy to play with a toy kitchen instead.) Then there's another knock on the door...and another...and another...and another..... Before long the last parent shuts the door (leaving their child inside a 10x10 room with your teenager) and heads downstairs for an adult Bible study.
Your teen will look around and find him/herself in a room with 8 children 3 years old and younger (don't worry there's another baby downstairs that will join the other 8 children in a few months...and I'm sure another couple will get pregnant within the next 6 months to a year...there will be an endless supply of babies joining this room.)
When one of the little girls enters the room, she'll spend the first 20 minutes in your teens presence kicking, screaming, crying, and wailing for her mama. At the same time, one of the little boys will cry whenever your teen puts him down (making it hard to console the screaming girl). The 3 year old boys keeps getting upset with one of the crawling babies who keeps taking the letters he's trying to use to spell his name, and your teen will discover that the baby he/she put in the bouncey seat knows how to roll over! Your teen will suddenly realize that the sweet little girl (who lives in this room) only has 1 baby doll...and there are 3 little girls who want to play with a doll (you do the math). One of the crawling babies will get hungry so your teen will get out the snack his mama left him...and then your teen will be swarmed by 8 vultures all wanting a piece of the baby's food!
As your teen begins plotting his/her escape (out the window, across the roof, down the tree...) there's a knock on the door. A mommy peeks her head in the door and asks, "Is he doing ok?" Your teen struggles to remember which child goes with the mom...and as luck would have it, her little one is not crying...so she closes the door and says "we'll be done in about 15 minutes."
"Only 15 minutes...I can make it!" thinks your teen. Finally your teen hears the sound of multiple people coming up the stairs. It seems to take an eternity for them to reach the top...and when the door opens chaos ensues. All the children start crying for their mommy's and run for the door at once (the door's only 32" wide and all 8 kids won't fit through at the same time)!
Finally the room is silent. Your teen turns around and wonders if a tornado came through the room while he/she was tending to a crying child...at least that's what it looks like. He/she picks up the toys, walks downstairs, past the parents, out the front door, and climbs into his/her car. He/she locks the door (just to make sure none of the little ones could follow) and takes his/her first breath of the night.
When your teen gets home, he/she will come inside, give you a big hug, and promise not to have sex...EVER!
Did I mention that this therapy session is free...and that you can send your teen as many times as is necessary? I'd also encourage them to bring a friend. You might think it would make the job easier, but in reality it only results in 2 teens becoming convinced to remain abstinent...and they'll hold each other accountable!
This job is currently being undertaken by some of the moms and a few school teachers. All of these women have years of experience multi-tasking and dealing with crying children. If your teen were to watch them in action, they might think it's no big deal (especially since they can somehow carry on a conversation over the cries and chaos of 8 toddlers/babies), but it's not a job for the faint of heart.
If you have a teen who has a boy/girl friend, please...send them our way. We'll make sure that you NEVER have to worry about your child losing their virginity before marriage!
13 comments:
lol, love the post. Jason and I are going to try out North Davis next Sunday morning but would love to go to small group that night if yall are meeting.
Looks like fun :)
Julie
I can't wait 'til our turn to babysit again! All the kids are great! It won't be long and they will all be in the youth group ;-)
Daddy Steve
Like a good blogger, I'm glad you had your camera to get a picture of the circus in action...I love it! What day am I on the schedule again? :-)
Halarious
Maybe you should take Audria out of the rotation!
Funny! Our grow group has 18 kids!!!!! Ages 10-13months!! Yikes! Thank goodness I have a playroom, but it looks awfully small with that many kids in there.
JB
That's ages 10 years- 13 months!
JB
Oh my word!!! That was so funny, and so glad I could have that experience with you! haha. Thanks for the laugh.
You are so hilarious I laughed thorugh that whole description taking into account my child was up there. Worse yet Autumn looks forward to coming to play.The sad thing is the only way to get out of the rotation is to have a child and well that just adds to the problem doesn't it??
lol.........Joan, that was so funny!!!!
Staci, you have a great idea. I know that Ginger never wanted kids because of Bryan and Brady......she tried to fry her ovaries in the tanning beds.
It is so funny to hear that side of things, when we were all down stairs, trying to just get through that Bible study so we could rescue you. Before we started, I thought, "Wow, they have ALL the kids, but if anyone can handle that, it would be Wendi and Staci."
We've said that about the teens that come to our house to watch our four let alone 8 or 10. One would think that a teen would think long and hard after that.
Chris - Why do you think Mike and I were married 7 years before we had Brody?!? lol
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