Monday, September 02, 2013

AHC - The Waiting Game

February 13, 2013

Kristin called today while I was at Women’s Bible Study.  She requested that I re-write our “Dear Birth Parent” letter (AGAIN!).  She also gave me a little more info on the birth mom and told me that the other couple she is presenting is an African American couple.  When I heard that my heart and brain just shut down.  I thought, “Here we go again.”  We don’t care what race (or gender) the child is that we adopt…but in the past we have found that race can be important to a birth mom when she is choosing a family to parent her child.  I feel like our chance of being chosen has gone from 99% down to 5%.  Why did I feel so strongly yesterday that "this is it"?  Was I deceiving myself?  Was it just wishful thinking?  I don't know.  

After Bible study I went home and re-wrote our letter and sent it off to Kristin.  In essence, I had cut out a lot of the letter in order to make it a 1 page letter.  If you’ve read nothing but this post…I think you can figure out that I’m not one for cutting a story short.  How in the world can we tell enough about ourselves for a person to want to entrust their child to us…on just one little piece of paper?!? 

So now we’re back to the waiting game.  Kristin is showing the profiles tomorrow, but she told us that we shouldn’t expect to hear back from her until Monday.  She said many times the birth mom wants to take the profile books home to look at with other family members and take some time to make the decision.  My head is telling me it’s over and that it won’t happen…but there’s something in my heart that is keeping me hopeful.  I can’t explain it…but it’s like there’s a little voice saying, “Just wait….it’s gonna happen!” 

The hardest part for me right now is knowing that there’s a baby girl in the NICU at the hospital.  If this is going to be our daughter…I want to be there with her!!  I don’t want another minute to go by without her knowing that she is loved.  It makes my heart ache to think about her there alone…

**If you're just now joining us in our adoption journey...make sure you use the links on the right side of the blog to start at the beginning of our story...Answering His Call**

1 comment:

Steve said...

Even though I know what is going to happen, I am waiting anxiously for the next post!

I love you Staci!!