AHC - Dashed Dreams

February 2010 – I was at work when I got the call about an 8 month old baby that they were looking to place.  There was a transition in leadership taking place at our agency, so it was taking longer than expected to get our file verified.  Even though we weren’t verified, they didn’t want to leave us out of the process.  I told them I didn’t think that I could handle missing the first 8 months of my child’s life…and passed on showing our profile (without even talking to Mike).  He was a little upset that I didn’t talk with him before telling them “no”…and I have this regret in the back of my mind.  What if that was supposed to be our child and I didn’t even give it a chance!

October 2010 – Covenant Kids (our agency) called.  They wanted to show our profile to a young mother who wanted to place her baby girl for adoption.  We were told it would be a fast placement because she was due in 2 weeks.  We said yes and then began to pray.  During the time of waiting, Namaw and I went to the Just Between Friends sale (only happens twice a year).  We couldn’t help but buy a few little girl things….just in case.  Why did we do that?  I should have been guarding my heart more…but it’s hard not to hope and dream!  We got the phone call the day after the baby girl had been born.  Our family had not been chosen.  She loved our family profile….but we were told that someone in the other “final family” looked like this young mother and so she felt more comfortable placing her baby in that family.  I was devastated.  I remember laying on the floor in our bedroom sobbing.  As always, Mike (my rock) brought me back to the reality that this baby girl was obviously not the child God wanted to place in our family. 

April 2011 – It’s tax season.  One of our clients (who I’ve known since I was 5) said she wanted to put us in touch with her niece who was looking for an adoptive family for her baby boy.  I was disappointed at first because I had my heart set on a girl.  Mike was excited because he wants a house full of boys!  He left the decision up to me.  After much prayer I came to the same conclusion that he told me after the baby girl fell through…..if this was the child God wants to be in our family….it’ll happen.  So I gave her the go ahead to pass on our info.  There were phone calls and emails exchanged back and forth with our client.  In the end we found out that the niece’s father already had a family lined up to adopt the baby.  I was disappointed, but was able to take it in stride and trust God’s timing.

May 2011 – A girl who babysat for us said she had an acquaintance at school that was pregnant and looking for an adoptive family.  She told the teen (we’ll call her Jane) about us and Jane said she wanted to meet us.  She called and talked with me on the phone.  She said that her “baby daddy” (we’ll call him John) had broken up with her and said he’d sign whatever she wanted him to sign so that she could place the baby for adoption.  I met Jane and John at the mall. They could only meet at a time when Mike was already signed up to play in a golf tournament.  We tried to get them to meet with us later when he could come too, but they insisted on that morning, so I went alone. CK said that if Jane was comfortable meeting with me, that I should go alone for the initial meeting and then suggest that at our next meeting we bring along someone from our adoption agency.  It was the strangest meeting I’ve ever had with someone.  Jane & John arrived holding hands and acting as if they were in a junior high relationship.  They told me that they’d decided to parent the baby.  My first thought was, “Then why am I here meeting with you?!?” but then I thought about how wishy washy Jane had been up to this point and thought, “She’ll probably change her mind 10 times in the next few months before the baby’s born.”  She had me feel her belly for the movement from the baby (which I couldn’t ever feel) and then looked through our profile book.  When I asked about her due date her answers were confusing.  She said, “Well, 1 doctor told me August and another told me November…but I’m thinking he should come at the beginning of August so that I can finish high school.”  They didn’t seem to have a future plan…said they’d rather just think about one day at a time.  To make a loooooong story short…it was a very odd meeting.  I wasn’t too surprised when I found out that she had been lying and was never actually pregnant!  Wow.  What a rollercoaster to have to ride with someone who just needed someone to pay attention to her!

**If you're just now joining us in our adoption journey...make sure you use the links on the right side of the blog to start at the beginning of our story...Answering His Call**