Answering His Call - Part V

(Start at the beginning Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII,Part VIII)

About 4 years after Mike and I got married, I was ready to start having kids. Mike, on the other hand, needed another 3 years before he’d decide he was ready. That time in my life was very difficult emotionally. Looking back…I’m sooooo glad that we waited…but at the time it was hard. Every time I’d see a pregnant woman or a new little baby, I’d feel jealousy rising up in me. It was a nasty feeling, but one that was very hard to overcome. Last summer those feeling begin to resurface again. I was ready for another baby and when I saw a pregnant woman, I knew the joy she was experiencing and I was a little jealous. It wasn’t all consuming and it wasn’t something I thought about all the time, but it was there when I had visual reminders.

Back to when I knew that God’s desire had become my own…
I was sitting in the patient room of my midwife’s office waiting for my yearly exam. I could hear people in the room next to me and suddenly I heard it… “thump thump …thump thump”. It was the sound of a baby’s heartbeat thru a Doppler machine. What a glorious sound! I waited for it…for the feelings of jealousy to wash over me. For the thoughts of, “I wish that was my belly that was producing that sound.” I waited…and waited…and waited. Instead, all I felt was immense joy! I felt so much joy for the people in the room next to me! Tears were streaming down my face as I sat there and listened to the miracle of life thru the thin walls of a doctor’s office. I immediately began praising God and right then and there I began praying for the woman that will carry our child. My heart was overflowing with love and joy and I struggled to hold myself together and make small talk with the midwife when she came in for my exam.

I left my midwife’s office with my shoulders high and a heart overflowing with joy. I called Mike and he was just as overjoyed about my experience. Later that day we began talking with agencies and friends trying to find out where we needed to start our journey. After talking with Angela and a caseworker at Covenant Kids, we knew that CK was the right fit for us.